You’ve trained your whole life for this!

I have to say I am not going to be nearly as witty as my dear husband, but I am feeling robbed of the cathartic process of writing about this crazy time in our lives. I am Delaney’s mother, the Oncology nurse, who a dear friend of mine said, “has been training her whole life for this.” I don’t know if this is what I was planning on, but God has a plan and I guess this is it!
When Delaney was diagnosed I had one of those moments…the ones you envision all the time happen to you. All of you parents out there know what I’m talking about. Feel free to fill in the blank with your own personal response. I would imagine if one of my kids breaks their arm I would ______. If my child is diagnosed with a horrible disease I will _______. I definitely cried, fell to my knees, sobbed hugging Tom, and had a million different permeations of what could go wrong running through my head. Of course being the oncology nurse I am…none of them were good.
This started all of the “firsts”…the first time she had her blood drawn at Children’s Hospital, the first time she slept in a hospital bed, the first time she had an IV running, the first time she vomited and didn’t understand why, the first time she had surgery, her first dose of chemotherapy, the first time she was put under for a bone marrow asperation….all things I never dreamed we would experience. I know I have many more firsts that I don’t want to experience, but now have to.
I ask Delaney often what she thinks about what si going on with her and she responds “I don’t know”. She is just rolling with the punches, knowing that she will be alright in the end. I think I need to have some of that faith. My mother sends me the Daily Word with subject matter that she thinks will inspire me and today was very appropriate. It spoke about “Faith beginning with the belief that Life will bring the best for me”, just as Delaney does. Even in these tough times I need to have some FAITH that everything is going to be best for me. The verse attached to the devotion is…. Then Jesus answered her, “Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed instantly.—Matthew 15:28. WOW! What a shot to the gut. Just have faith Stacey.
Todays visit to the doctor was a good one. Her labs are stable, her MRD (Minimum Residual Disease) from day 8 was almost non-existent, and her side effects are minimal from the treatment. All blessings! She will be getting more chemo on Friday, and our big moment of truth (bone marrow, LP, and final day of induction) is on March 29th. That day will determine her exact level of risk and determine prognosis as well as the remainder of her treatment. She is such a trooper and an inspiration to me to be faithful and to know that there is a plan that has been layed out for us and we are along for this amazing ride with her.

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19 thoughts on “You’ve trained your whole life for this!

  1. Keep the faith. You and Tom and all four of your girls are inspiring. I hope to never face what you are facing, but if I do I only pray I can be half as strong and faithful as you two are.

  2. You are so strong (even when you think your not) and such an amazing inspiration for me (and other mothers). My heart breaks for you and your family, but all of you have such amazing strength. I love reading posts from all of your family members and experiencing the perspectives you all share.
    Delaney and Family has touched my life and I think of you all and pray for you all often. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Stacey, I have imagined that moment and can only say that it scares me to my core and it leaves me all the more inspired by your strength!! I think about you all the time and how you must worry and lose sleep. I love you Stacey! You are the best Mommy in the world! Xoxoo Eileen

  4. I can’t even imagine. When I do imagine, it makes me choked up and it seems I can’t breathe. I am inspired by your strength and am in love with your cute little Delaney. Giant hugs and nothing but good thoughts and love your way.

  5. Cuz I gotta have faith, I gotta have faith, cuz I gotta have faith, faith, faith, I gotta have faith! Love you Stac!

  6. Very touching Stacey, thank you for that glimpse into your heart and soul. Drinking my morning coffee while choking up reading this 🙂 I’m so proud of the example you and your family are to the world. God bless you guys, we love you and will continue to pray for you daily.

  7. No you aren’t as witty as your husband. 😉 But I’m crying as I read your post. The pain of a mother is one that can be readily understood. Especially by another mother. While you admire your sweet daughter for her strength and ability to roll with the tide, she had to learn that strength from someone. While children do ‘teach’ their parent’s some things; I’ve found that what kids excel at is reminding their parents about the lessons they learn FROM their parents. Your daughter is not teaching you about strength, faith, and hope. She is showing you that she’s learned those lessons, and reminding you of where she learned them. Stay strong, and keep showing your girls about the inner strength that will carry them through life. Praying for you and your family.

  8. Stacey, Your family in California is sending love to you, Tom and the girls. We’re wrapping our arms around you and holding you close. Tell Delaney that her cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and grand aunts and uncles are directing their loving attention to her every day.

  9. I truely enjoy reading what your husband writes, but it is so nice to hear from you as well. Faith is strong – just claim it.

  10. Stacey…you don’t know me. I work with your husband. Actually I don’t know if he and I have actually met as we are in different departments. But I am following your famiiy’s “adventure”. I am a cancer survivor. When I was diagnosed, my kids were 7 and 10 and I was forced to be strong and stay positive for them, just as you are staying strong for Delaney. Motherhood has a funny way of bringing out the Super Hero in all of us. Keep on, keeping on!!! And know that there are prayers coming to you daily from every inch of this earth.

  11. Stacey! You are amazing! I know where Delaney gets her positive awesome attitude! You and Tom are fabulous parents and Delaney is so lucky to have you as her parents to support her and guide her through all this.

    I loved your blog today, I can’t even imagine what it is like to go through all you have in the past month, but want you to know that you are all in my prayers daily and I know this will all end well.

    HUGS!

  12. Stacey , Please know that our family has been praying for Delaney and your entire family for healing , strength, & continued FAITH . I can’t imagine what your all going through. I was trying to think what I would put in the blanks of those questions , and i’m not really sure. This past Aug. Andrew our 21 yr. old was diagnosed with stage 4 Melanoma. Went in one day to have a mole removed and 2 days later the Dr. called. It had moved to 2 lymph nodes. He had 2 surgeries to remove and now we are having MRI’s and PET scans at MD Anderson every 3 months for next few yrs. They say as of now he is disease free. Anyway, no where near what your going through but I know you will stay strong and have faith that all will be good. We will continue with lots of prayers. Stay strong and may God bless your Awesome family. love to you all, Nikki

  13. Stacey, thank you for your post. You and your family are being constantly lifted up in prayers. You are a beautiful, strong, loving mother to your girls. We will continue to pray for sweet Delaney through this entire process.

  14. Stacey you are amazing. Thank you and Tom for your blogs. I will keep you in my prayers. All of your girls are very special to me. If you need anything at all please never hesitate to ask.

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